Chocolate Hazelnut Cake with Gianduja Praline Swiss Meringue Buttercream

Chocolate Hazelnut Cake with Gianduja Praline Swiss Meringue ButtercreamChocolate Hazelnut Cake with Gianduja Praline Swiss Meringue Buttercream

I was a winged obsessive, my moonlit feathers were paper. I lived hardly at all among men and women; I spoke only to angels. How fortunate my days, how charged and meaningful the nights’ continuous silence and opacity.” – Louise Glück, from “Ancient Text”

This years birthday cake. Twenty-one! The truth, I don’t usually celebrate. Call it elitist or detached (or both), but rejoicing age, another year older, has never been something I yearned for. I blame my love for American Beauty on the sort-of self-deprecating ideals that stem. The kind of societal ideals that entail certain life’s milestones to be reached within the perimeters of a new age. A kind of pursuit in identity and self-obsession, that always set my warped line amongst the straight. A good cake, that’s the extent I’m willing to go.

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Vegan Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies

Vegan Chocolate Chip Walnut CookiesVegan Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies

If I told you a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?” – Kendrick Lamar, Money Trees

There’s a storm going on now, its casting shadow amongst the corners of the room and unwillingly holding everything black until those momentary flashes of white light pierce through the darkness. Though, those are few and far between and vanish just as fast as they arrived, like all good things. I’ve always thought that storms were rather bold, half poison and half god. The kind of boldness that declares, “I’ll take control of your universe and give it back when I’m ready”. It might be kind of strange to personify a storm, but hey, I like it.

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Fleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple Pie

Fleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple PieFleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple Pie

Life is not so much invented as composed” – Peter Pereira from ‘What’s Written on the Body: Ravenna at Dusk’

8 months, max no more than 14. It’s my instinctual timeline of transformation, like unmeditated clockwork of mind happening between and only, those months. Usually it’s something minor, learning a new language, changing my prop collection, ordering an excessive amount of cookbooks. This time, it’s something slightly more prolific.

I threw out my things, I bought new things. I redecorated my room, again. It’s starker than minimal and in shades of grey and white. Elements of Scandinavian style, slight Japanese too. I discarded old furniture in the desire for blank space. I learnt to want for few things, but great things – like a Rick Owens marble bed. I’ve always wanted a Rick Owens marble bed. I bought another Pentax and re-organised cosmetics, discarding the ones that weren’t organic, vegan and packaged in aesop-styled attire.  

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Rhubarb and Rose Naked Cake with Coconut Buttercream

Rhubarb and Rose Naked Cake with Coconut ButtercreamRhubarb and Rose Naked Cake with Coconut Buttercream

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” – Anaïs Nin.

It feels strange saying this but I’ve finally arrived home. Strange, because it’s been a while since I’ve been back. Strange, because I became so immersed in my travels and in this new life created that I completely forgot about what a real life should feel like. The kind of day-to-day menial real life that means this current escapism has come to an End

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Wander Guide: New York

Wander Guide: New York

“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.” – Anais Nin

Every time I’ve sat down to write this post, I’ve gotten stuck. Stuck because there’s so much to say so succinctly. Stuck because it’s so hard to re-cap this whole New York experience. Last week, I had the absolute shock of a life-time winning Saveur’s Best Baking and Sweets Award, in both editor’s and readers choice. I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe it. I didn’t set my heart upon winning, nor did it cross my mind that I could win one, let alone –  two awards.

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Chocolate Walnut Brioche Babka

Chocolate Walnut Brioche BabkaChocolate Walnut Brioche Babka

“How I wanted to be that sky – to hold every flight and fall at once.” – Ocean Vuong, from Night Sky with Exit Wounds

Some context, this post is currently being written from the onyx-lit sky on a red-eye flight, the passing moments becoming etched into memory of mind. Red eye, perhaps the only time I can use that word in all it’s euphemism and glory. I delicately fear flying. Not for all the ways you’d think. I can’t sit still. Ever. There’s too much to do. It’s in my fear of ticking time passing. It’s the feeling of becoming stagnate. It’s uncomfortable. It’s feelings and emotions all tied up in a single destination – New York

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