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Apple and Rose Pie & Buttermilk Honey Custard Pie with Lavender and Crème Chantilly

Apple and Rose Pie & Buttermilk Honey Custard Pie with Lavender and Crème Chantilly

“June and I have paid with our souls for taking fantasies seriously, for living life as a theatre, for loving costumes and changes of selves, for wearing masks and disguises. But I know always what is real. Does June?” – Anaïs Nin, December 30, 1931

The past few weeks have been spent in a turbulent state of desire and upheaval. My mind is thriving elsewhere. That’s for sure. I doubt it will ever arrive. I’ve never felt whole in any one place. It’s like this hybrid, this disassociated fragment of myself that I never could quite control, exists in an entirely different world. And then comes the night.

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Fleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple Pie

Fleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple PieFleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple Pie

Life is not so much invented as composed” – Peter Pereira from ‘What’s Written on the Body: Ravenna at Dusk’

8 months, max no more than 14. It’s my instinctual timeline of transformation, like unmeditated clockwork of mind happening between and only, those months. Usually it’s something minor, learning a new language, changing my prop collection, ordering an excessive amount of cookbooks. This time, it’s something slightly more prolific.

I threw out my things, I bought new things. I redecorated my room, again. It’s starker than minimal and in shades of grey and white. Elements of Scandinavian style, slight Japanese too. I discarded old furniture in the desire for blank space. I learnt to want for few things, but great things – like a Rick Owens marble bed. I’ve always wanted a Rick Owens marble bed. I bought another Pentax and re-organised cosmetics, discarding the ones that weren’t organic, vegan and packaged in aesop-styled attire.  

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