Browsing Tag

chocolate

Brown Butter and Hazelnut Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Brown Butter and Hazelnut Chocolate Chunk Cookies

I burn, I shiver; out of the sun, and into this shadow.” – Virginia Woolf, ‘The Waves’

It’s the little things that bring joy. Entanglements of flowers. Cookies wrapped in bows, shared or devoured alone. Details and thoughts that last for longer than just instantaneous pleasure. I’ve always managed to live between two extremes. Living in a catatonic state of violence or softness. And, it took me years to realise how to balance out both the light and dark aspects of my personality. My life was once withered, and now, it’s coated in roses. Kind of like these blooms. More precious the light than the all-consuming darkness. The shadows in these images, the shadows in myself, wear darkness so beautifully. Meant for me, and me alone. The suffocating entanglement of wild, so beautiful, so abandoned, so delicate. Choking everything that comes close. Strangulations of floral, ivy, vines and opalescent blossoms. Each strand, competing for breath. Intimately engulfed within each other. Both beauty and ugliness, light and darkness, existing in all aspects of life.

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Dark Chocolate and Raspberry Cake with Earl Grey Swiss Meringue Buttercream

Dark Chocolate and Raspberry Cake with Earl Grey Swiss Meringue Buttercream

“Between my sleeping and dreaming, Between me and the one in me who I suppose I am, A river flows without end.” – Fernando Pessoa, from ‘A Little Larger Than The Entire Universe: Selected Poems.’ 

A Dark Chocolate and Raspberry Cake with Earl Grey Swiss Meringue Buttercream for Valentine’s Day. As much as I love to create sweet things for the aforementioned date, I have never been one to celebrate the exhausted tradition. Probably because my beliefs on love and intimacy are so far removed from the ideals that the corporate world stemmed. But, here I am. Once again. The same fragmented girl as the one several moons ago, white-hot with exuberant gilded swan song. Like the most precious thing, untainted thing. Again, smoking with desire. But a desire no longer for the bitterness of exterior flesh, rather an endless hunger for eternal understanding of the human heart.

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Black Tahini Buns with White Chocolate and Orange

Black Tahini Buns with White Chocolate and Orange

Love is a rose. Every petal an illusion, every thorn a reality.” – Charles Baudelaire, ‘Les Fleurs du Mal’

I haven’t been in the mood to write lately. I think there’s a part of me that’s vexed by how much of myself I choose to put into each work. Writing a post requires a melangé of inspiration. And when I can, I take all that’s inside and weave it into obscure, mangled words, just as obscure and mangled as the far wailing walls of my mind. And right now, I’m coming up short. It’s never been that way with baking though. Baking is natural, just as natural as deep breath and even deeper hunger. It’s easy to dream in sweet combinations, cake layers and flavour. And when it isn’t there, I don’t force it. But to write, well, that’s a different story in its entirety

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Vegan Chocolate Mousse with Cardamom Coconut Cream

Vegan Chocolate Mousse with Cardamom Coconut Cream

Underlined passages, fragments of happiness that traverse the body and raise bridges all around because elsewhere and in the wild blue yonder they say there’s euphoria.” – Nicole Brossard, from ‘Soft Link 1″.

This is home, finally! And it feels good. To be back, that is. I never thought I would openly profess that. I was contented with lush rolling mountains, piercing turquoise oceans, palm trees and pale sand. Efflorescent underneath sharp streaks of hot sun. But somewhere, my lifeblood was beating from a far different direction, and the life I’ve created at home, was waiting for my return. My desire has always been to escape and run, to be part of some kind of nomadic, aimless existence. And I continue to feel it over-and-over again. Never enough horizon, never enough experience. Call it a slightly romanticised perspective, but whatever. It’s universal escapism in its first and finest form. Exisiting is exhausting, and I’m still trying to live with it.

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Dark Chocolate Merveilleux with Honey and Lavender

Dark Chocolate Merveilleux with Honey and Lavender

“When I woke, the morning light was just slipping in front of the stars and I was covered in blossoms.” – Mary Olive, from Blue Iris

There’s always been a deep desire within my soul to run. I feel it in every fibre, every atom, every crevice and fleshed crack. To escape to unknown possibility, without destination or desolate end. Where the air remains warm, slow and unhurried.  To wander in a kind of nomadic existence, tethering on the side of both light and dark, fleeing to some kind of self-induced euphoria. Where she grows in radiance, impenetrable desire and luminous ecstasy, wearing her bona fide sins like stars that illuminate the endless night.

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Brioche Doughnuts with Matcha White Chocolate Glaze

Brioche Doughnuts with Matcha White Chocolate GlazeBrioche Doughnuts with Matcha White Chocolate Glaze

December. This heart full of tears and of night.” – Albert Camus, Notebooks.

The tree is up. The balsam branches wildly twinkled with warm lights, hints of gild. There’s tapered candles, and wood, woven stockings hung on brass animal-esque ornaments. I could go on and on, but I won’t. It’s become hard to embrace the Christmas season. Not, because I don’t love it…I do, trust me, I do. It’s more that, lately, I’ve been feeling like there’s something missing, something I’m so desperately desiring to experience.

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