Dark Chocolate, Raspberry and Nougat Ice Cream

Dark Chocolate, Raspberry and Nougat Ice CreamDark Chocolate, Raspberry and Nougat Ice Cream

I could be healed by the sheer courage of continuing to live. I could heal myself” – Anaïs Nin, Henry and June

I didn’t anticipate a lot of things about the life I’m living now. I didn’t anticipate how I could turn something I love doing into a quotidian lifestyle. I didn’t anticipate all the experiences had, memories created and the people met along the way. And I sure didn’t anticipate how I could travel doing what I love, often. 

The past month saw me travelling to New York, to the Middle East, then to Sydney. All-in-all, over a month away from home. The next few months will see me going abroad again too, back to America and then to Europe. It’s becoming a regular pattern, being away for extended periods of time. And even when I am ‘home’, it’s far from me.

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Matcha, White Chocolate and Pear Muffins with Almond Streusel

Matcha, White Chocolate and Pear Muffins with Almond StreuselMatcha, White Chocolate and Pear Muffins with Almond Streusel

“Gone, gone again is Summer the lovely.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay, from Collected Poems; Song.

It’s Spring, flirting with heavy elements of Summer and few of Winter. Some days hot, some cool. Never an in-between. I’ve always thought that Spring was a rather fickle season. It’s the hardest change to observe. I can pick the indescribable scent of summer, the heat, the smell of the  ocean – the days long. It feels like sunshine, the world pulsating and alive. I can feel the crisp breeze of autumn, the fall and rustle of leaves, life beginning to turn towards hibernation. And I definitely can feel the bitter chill of winter, stagnation and first frost. The night looming with every passing moment.

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Chocolate Hazelnut Cake with Gianduja Praline Swiss Meringue Buttercream

Chocolate Hazelnut Cake with Gianduja Praline Swiss Meringue ButtercreamChocolate Hazelnut Cake with Gianduja Praline Swiss Meringue Buttercream

I was a winged obsessive, my moonlit feathers were paper. I lived hardly at all among men and women; I spoke only to angels. How fortunate my days, how charged and meaningful the nights’ continuous silence and opacity.” – Louise Glück, from “Ancient Text”

This years birthday cake. Twenty-one! The truth, I don’t usually celebrate. Call it elitist or detached (or both), but rejoicing age, another year older, has never been something I yearned for. I blame my love for American Beauty on the sort-of self-deprecating ideals that stem. The kind of societal ideals that entail certain life’s milestones to be reached within the perimeters of a new age. A kind of pursuit in identity and self-obsession, that always set my warped line amongst the straight. A good cake, that’s the extent I’m willing to go.

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Vegan Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies

Vegan Chocolate Chip Walnut CookiesVegan Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookies

If I told you a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?” – Kendrick Lamar, Money Trees

There’s a storm going on now, its casting shadow amongst the corners of the room and unwillingly holding everything black until those momentary flashes of white light pierce through the darkness. Though, those are few and far between and vanish just as fast as they arrived, like all good things. I’ve always thought that storms were rather bold, half poison and half god. The kind of boldness that declares, “I’ll take control of your universe and give it back when I’m ready”. It might be kind of strange to personify a storm, but hey, I like it.

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Fleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple Pie

Fleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple PieFleur d’Oranger Caramel Apple Pie

Life is not so much invented as composed” – Peter Pereira from ‘What’s Written on the Body: Ravenna at Dusk’

8 months, max no more than 14. It’s my instinctual timeline of transformation, like unmeditated clockwork of mind happening between and only, those months. Usually it’s something minor, learning a new language, changing my prop collection, ordering an excessive amount of cookbooks. This time, it’s something slightly more prolific.

I threw out my things, I bought new things. I redecorated my room, again. It’s starker than minimal and in shades of grey and white. Elements of Scandinavian style, slight Japanese too. I discarded old furniture in the desire for blank space. I learnt to want for few things, but great things – like a Rick Owens marble bed. I’ve always wanted a Rick Owens marble bed. I bought another Pentax and re-organised cosmetics, discarding the ones that weren’t organic, vegan and packaged in aesop-styled attire.  

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Rhubarb and Rose Naked Cake with Coconut Buttercream

Rhubarb and Rose Naked Cake with Coconut ButtercreamRhubarb and Rose Naked Cake with Coconut Buttercream

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” – Anaïs Nin.

It feels strange saying this but I’ve finally arrived home. Strange, because it’s been a while since I’ve been back. Strange, because I became so immersed in my travels and in this new life created that I completely forgot about what a real life should feel like. The kind of day-to-day menial real life that means this current escapism has come to an End

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